My Inspiration inventory.

So I am working on a myth-busting type blog again, I know I have done one already but there are so many- it’s almost disturbing. It’s not ready and other things going on in my life I decided that this blog would be the right thing to write today. 

Inspiration can be anywhere right? I mean if we really think about it, what makes you eat healthier and hit up the gym or run that mile. However, it really all comes down to how badly you want it, these other things just help along the way. For some people they have a support network of a partner, family & friends who are rooting for them, they are there for when they fall, they are there no matter what. Others are not as lucky, I’m not great at math nor grammar lol. However about 75% of my journey? It’s been me and my inspiration inventory pushing me the majority of the way. Now I have my swole sister, friends, and a fantabulous fitness group.

Here is my inventory of inspiration, sometimes you have to look really deep within, really hard at the negatives around you and how that can help you, look at the positives and how you want to make them better. It’s your choice to change or stay the same.

1) Haters/ Naysayers/ Debbie Downers

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I know that basically everyone has some sort of hater in their life, its inevitable it seems. I have had many, close “Friends”, people I thought had my back, people I thought would love me no matter what. These people often reminded me, I wouldn’t achieve my goals, I wouldn’t amount to shit, I wouldn’t ever reach what I wanted to. Hate simmers on the same lines as jealousy doesn’t it? The fastest way to make me decide to do something? Tell me I can’t, tell me I won’t make it. I can promise you I will work to the bone to make it happen or something damn close, I can also promise you won’t be around anymore or have very limited space in my life to see the end result.

2. Wanting to have a transformation picture. 

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Every single time I wanted to give up? I went on Instagram and looked at hundreds of transformation pictures, I poured over all these pictures, these peoples stories I read over and over. I promised myself that one day? I would have a similar transformation picture, that I would make it, that I wouldn’t be just another statistic. I wasn’t going to be like the people who lost some weight and put it back on. Another inspiration though I am not sure if it’s an inspiration… I sold or freecycled ALL of my bigger clothes, every time I went down in a size? I got rid of the last size. I literally cannot gain back the weight, because I cannot afford to buy new clothes! So I’d have to be like naked… outside… and I’m just not down for that.

3. Role model For My Kids

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Kids, honest as the day is long. My oldest was four years old when I started my journey. He has the biggest heart there ever was, if he likes you. The best part of kids? also can be the worst. The way they are brutally honest. He used to ask me why I was so round, why my clothes were so big, why I couldn’t run with him when he would run laps at the park. You know that heart-wrenching feeling within? Have kids and teach them to talk lol.

When I wanted to give up, I was usually reminded that I had two boys to show the way, to show that you can have whatever you want, as long as you work your ass off for it. I wanted to show and continue to show them how important healthy eating is, how important rest is, how important water is, how important exercise is. To love yourself no matter what but to be the best fucking you, because you only get one chance here on earth. (I’m still learning this, I am better than I used to be but I’m better at teaching it to others than me)

4. Abuse

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Here is an instance where I took a negative, a huge one but none the less I took it and I recycled it into fuel, fuel for my workouts, worked off the frustration and the hate for the treatment I was receiving. I definitely believed the words that came out of his mouth, the angry put-downs, the constant junk food placed in front of me- trying to make me cave, to lose, to fail. We all have negatives in our lives, some smaller than others, some bigger but none the less we ALL have negatives. It’s a part of life, sometimes your life is filled with more than your share but you stick it out and keep fighting. Definitely if you are in an abusive relationship, toxic friendship or relationship- evaluate it, make sure you can get to safety and leave. Other negatives in your life that you cannot change, you cannot end or can’t end yet. Try to turn it into fuel, recycle the feelings you feel from that shit into something that benefits you.

5. Results

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Once you get going, the changes start happening? It gets addictive, you want to see how much farther you can push yourself, your limits. You end up liking parts of yourself, you end up loving parts, you end up with goals, you finally understand what all the gym-goers were doing always going to the gym!

The thing about results, is that you don’t ever wanna lose them, so you keep working harder and harder, you set bigger goals, you set goals so big? you kinda scare yourself. That’s what its all about though!

6. Perfectionism 

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This is likely another negative I used as a positive, I haven’t figured out how to change this yet. I am hopeful that after more therapy, self-love and work on the inside of myself that I will achieve a state where I know that it is ok for me not to be perfect. That I can be like a give my all and hit 90-95% type of person and hey? that will be ok! One day, I am taking the steps to get there, I think it doesn’t happen overnight or even as quick as I would like it to.

Hey though? we didn’t gain the weight overnight and we sure aren’t going to lose it overnight! We didn’t have terrible eating habits overnight and we can’t change them overnight. When I first started, someone told me “It’s a marathon, not a sprint” it sucks, because I lack patience, but it’s true.

7. The ability to inspire others

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Here’s the thing, I never started this journey because I thought I would get anywhere far enough that I would inspire others, not just the weight loss but in other aspects of my life as well.

I started this journey because I woke up and I was fucking sick of being obese, I’d love to tell you some motivational EPIC story that I had a new years resolution and I kept it and it turned out magical.

However the reality is it built up over time, I was sick of having fat arms, I was sick of reaching for 2-3XL shirts, I was mortified that I couldn’t fit into under 22 size jeans. I was disgusted that 5 steps could make me breathless, I was deeply saddened that my child thought I was a fat mom ( I was but still).

It was a build-up to what made me start this journey, that the Wednesday I woke up and decided I was sick of being obese and I was going to change.

That day I decided to make a change

I threw out my excuses

I searched deep within and found out my WHY.

So whatever you want to change in your life? Search deep inside for your why? Why are you wanting to change? WHY are you going to change? WHY do you need to do this? Throw out your excuses and make the change. The change to a better you- because everyone needs inspiration sometimes and you just may be someone else’s reason to change. 

 

Be a part of the inspiration

Self- love~ Health~Change

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