I know personally when I hear about self-care? The first thing I think about, that jumps into my mind? Is baths, pedicures, manicures, retail therapy, physical things.
I know of yoga & meditation for your soul and mind, but what about when it goes deeper than that? What about when your world is blurry from the toxic people you allow into your world? These people could be friends, co-workers, family, past relationships, present relationships; that sometimes you feel obligated to keep going because of family right? Or that longtime friend that you’ve both grown apart but you stay friends.
I explained this recently in a simpler version, as adults sometimes we make things more complicated than it ever has to be. Explaining a heavy topic in simpler terms can make it all fall into place in your own head. Explaining why taking a break, or cutting the relationship out of your life for a while because you need to do what’s best for your mental health and soul to be the best you!
To be able to live the best life you can have, because at the end of the day? You are fucking lucky to be born as you and not as a tree, and why would you want to waste that? Pleasing people who you have to work really hard so that they love you? WTF is that? Simpler terms make it easy to see that if your best self? The real you? Isn’t someone’s cup of tea? It’s not your problem, it’s not your JOB to make them love you!
It doesn’t matter if this is your best friend, you’re significant other, your mother, your sibling, your uncle or your father. If you can’t be you? If you can’t be your best self? It’s time to look out for you and cut the ties that bind because we all only have the time we have here on earth once, there isn’t a do-over.
This is a huge part of self-care, I think it’s widely thought to be selfish, to be callous or even mean. However, if you have people in your life that you can’t be the real you? That you find yourself feeling exhausted after spending time with? The people who doubt you, who you find you have to work really hard to get love from? It’s not selfish at all, it’s a HUGE act of self-love that is overlooked.
It’s hard because sometimes you are left with a very small circle, you are left with very few people in your corner. However, as I am learning? I’d rather have a handful of people on my side than a big circle waiting for the chance to hurt me further. People who you can’t be honest with, you tell them that they have hurt you and they try to convince you of different, people who don’t respect you or your boundaries. It takes a sense of strength and hold onto that shred of strength to make it to the next day when you say enough is enough. I won’t be treated this way anymore, I want to see what happens with my healing and mind with this new found clarity. That is a huge leap into self-care!
The way clarity works is that you can’t always see the damage these toxic people are doing onto your mind, onto your heart and soul. However, when you create distance, maybe you go low contact in communication, maybe you decide the only way is no contact for awhile- It’s all in what you can handle, what is best for your heart. Because if it hurts? If it exhausts you? It’s not good, you need to assess life and decide what needs to be cut out to give you your power back.
Clairity opens the huge doors to your mind, it shows you little things that you wouldn’t notice before. Perhaps you don’t feel as bad as you did when that toxic person was in your life, or you don’t feel the pressures of how to act, how to be, maybe you feel more and more like you can be… YOU! Once you have that shred of strength, the courage to take that step and add some clarity? You will be able to see what is most important in your life, you will be able to see more of what you need and use this as a selfless act of self-care to become the best you that you can be.
Most of the time, toxic people don’t even see how toxic they are. They don’t see anything wrong with how they act or speak to you, if you can feel the significant change when they are not in your life and it makes you better, it brings you that much closer to being your best self? Look out for you, look out for the way you need to feel. Explaining your side to most of these toxic people isn’t going to work, it’s like talking to a wall except it makes you feel crazier. When you are on the journey to reclaiming your worth & power, to healing your mind & soul, to loving yourself to the best of your ability? You need to take all the measures needed to be successful, self-care of any type is needed to embrace it, hold it close and jump into the act of what you need most to succeed, to come out on the other side a different version of you- the best version you can be!
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